A Light Bulb Moment

Have you ever felt like you were walking in a fog and you were so scared to take the next step because of fear that you might fall or roll your ankle or get hurt in some way. Lately that is how life has been for me. I have been walking in a fog not knowing which way to go and which is the best place to turn. Part of the reason is that I have been harboring hurt feelings for the past couple years and at times it doesn't bother me but sometimes I have huge flair ups where I feel like I am walking in a fog. It seems like I am crying all the time and can't stop it. My life is not horrible but there are many places in my life that I wish things were alot easier. We'll save my wish list for a later entry, but sometimes my life gets so overwhelming and I feel the pressure almost to where its unbearable. Well I had a huge eye opening experience last night. Now we are no where perfect with scripture study as a family but last night even though I really wanted nothing to do with it (I know that is a really BAD attitude) we had our evening scripture study. We read 1 Nephi 8 about Lehis dream of the tree of life. Well it came to me that the mist of darkness isn't necessarily sins but it can be all the "noise" we have in this life. It can be that thing that really hurt our feelings and we can't let go of, it can be that we didn't get that job promotion, or it could be that we have really bad anxiety. It can be anything that blocks our view of our Heavenly home and keeps us moving towards it. The next thing that came to me I already knew but it was reiterated in my mind. It was that no matter what if we hold on to the rod of iron then we have no reason to fear when we are taking our next step because the Lord will be our eyes. Anyhow these are just a few of my thoughts that came to me while reading the scriptures with my wonderful family. I felt like I needed to write them down so I can always remember them. I have regretted in the past when I have had light bulb moments and haven't written them down and then later trying to remember them and I can't. I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon and the wonderful teachings it has in it. I know that Heavenly Father watches out for us and that he loves us so much. I am so grateful for an older brother that loved me enough that he agreed to walk the same path that I walked in my life and is willing to carry my burdens so that my load might be lighter. I am so grateful that He was willing to die for me so that we can ALL return to our Heavenly Father again and be together as a family forever. I so look forward to seeing my little Graycee again. I look forward to seeing her and holding her close. I look forward to laughing and crying together someday. I am so excited for the day that I can see her again. I know that she is with two other wonderful girls right now and I look forward to seeing them again someday. I look forward to seeing my beautiful sister again that I never got to meet in this life but look forward to a wonderful relationship with her in the next life. I look forward to seeing my wonderful niece and hugging her again and being able to tell her how much I love her and that I think she is the most amazing person I know! I look forward to seeing these three wonderful girls again someday!